See Ya Later, Dad
There are many times that we do not know how to say that we love someone and then it is too late. Many people have been around people who say that it is not manly to show emotion or that it is a sign of weakness. Well, I have seen too many people that had challenges because they could never process their emotions or refused to go through their grieving process.
We have relatives, friends, people that we work with or people that we are used to see that mean so much to us, but we fail to say the words that clearly express how we feel. I truly appreciate the people that are in my life and sometimes I miss the mark. We have all had people that leave our lives without us expressing how much they mean to us or how they have effected our lives.
My father for a while was ill but still made it to certain meetings, so that we could see each other. I knew that it could be any moment that I may never see him again, so before we left each other, I would tell him that I loved him. His initial response was "why do you think I come to these meetings" and over time he told me back that he loved me. In his weakened state, a week before he passed, we saw each other. He grabbed me, from his wheelchair, he hugged tight and cried and told me that he was sorry. No wake or memorial can do better than that moment.
There are still things that I would like to talk with him about and share, so please indulge me.
Dad,
Farewell, I appreciate having you in my life more than I can express. I have learned so much from you. It was not until I joined the fire department that I really got to know you. As I was growing up, you were always working two jobs and then the police and fire department but still made time to sit with on days I would take the bus.
You were one of my instructors in the fire service. You may not have taught me in the fire academy but you taught things that many instructors did not teach. One of the things that you taught me was how to think for myself. I was so glad that you were my lieutenant, when I joined truck, and was later my captain.
We went into fires as partners and at times went in with no gear. You even rode with me on a few ambulance calls and saw some of the other work that I did.
I am sorry that we never got our picture taken together but that does not matter. Nobody can ever take away the memories of walking the boardwalk at the convention or having breakfast at the Olympic or having a container of coffee and a buttered roll or time spent together at the firehouse or at different association meetings.
I always looked forward to the meetings, in the later years, because that is when we got a chance to catch each other up, on what was going on in our lives.
I know that most men do not say "I love you" to another man but as you said you showed up. It was not until the last two years that you finally said the words and the last year that I remember a hug. The hugs that you gave me the last time that I saw you were so strong, nobody can ever give me a hug that will ever mean so much. You told me that you were sorry but it is all good. There is nothing to be sorry about.
Thank you for letting me have the honor and privilege of praying with you.
You will continue to live in my heart and memories and you are part of me and in my habits. I was told that grandpa, you and I look alike, talk alike, walk alike and tell the same stupid jokes, so you and grandpa are definitely part of me
You were always a hardworking man and you had dreams and goals that you were not capable of pursuing. Sometimes I wonder where you joy was. Was it in the days that you served in the navy or the brotherhood of firefighters and police that were part of your life?
We rode truck together and many times it did not seem that there was any danger, as long as I knew you had my back, no matter what situation.
You will always be in my heart because you are a big part of me and helped lead me on the path of serving others.
Dad, I will see you when I get reassigned to the Lord's station.
Until we answer the next alarm together, I know you got my back.
Stay safe,
Didymus McHugh 103
didymus-mchugh.com
ANXIETY
Many of us do not think about what it is like to be anxious but others can be frozen by anxiety. Some people cannot look at paper from a particular person because it makes them anxious. Or cannot go through a certain intersection or part of town. There are some people who cannot bare to throw certain things out because of the anxiety and emotional attachment that they have assigned to an inanimate object.
We may think of people who look like hoarders and we just want to tell them to just throw it out. What we need to is to come alongside them and see what the anxiety may be attached to and why. Many times we can work on small steps and keep the persons anxiety in check.
The truth is that many people may face anxiety in their own way. I have seen others, that when they are anxious, they are basically frozen. They cannot move forward they are just there. I have seen this with people who may be afraid of heights or some people that may be afraid of fire or blood.
Some people may want to just say "suck it up, buttercup", but that is not the right solution. How would the people saying it feel, if it was they who became frozen?
Many times, if we take the time to talk with the people, we can help them through their block. True, that some people may need longer time to overcome their anxiety and they may need some professional assistance.
Did you ever get anxious about a test? interview? freeze on a high dive? What is it that may make you anxious? How about the holidays or birthdays, when you have to see those relatives? You may try backing out of it by saying that you have other plans, just to get out of it.
The Bible says to be anxious for nothing. and in Matthew chapter 6, it states 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
These are definitely wise words and directions but it is our humanity that once it gets into the mix, that we do worry or become anxious.
Please have time and understanding for the person that you may work with in a disaster, whatever the person identifies as a disaster. Some people are accustomed to working with disasters all the time, but once it is effecting them personally that they truly understand and may become more compassionate to the client.
We can learn so much just by listening to the people that we meet. As a good friend of mine said, " God gave us two ears and one mouth. Maybe we need to listen twice the amount of time that we speak, after all, I think He knows what He is doing. "
Stay safe and listen to people. It will surprise you once you listen to other people's stories.
Footprints On The Heart
It is not the what that is important but the who.
I feel like I spent my life around a firehouse all my life, at least since I was two years old. I may not remember everything about every time that I was there, but I remember how my uncles made me feel. They spent time with me and I cannot for the life remember what we did, except the feeling around Christmas and the summer picnics. But the uncles made sure that they spent time with the children and made our time special.
The other day I noticed some children who were being lifted up by their parents so that they could see the fire engine through the windows. I pulled the engine out of the bay. I showed the boys around the engine and turned on the lights. The boys were so happy. When I got home I saw a large toy fire truck that I was going to get rid of. I brought it down to the station to give to the boys. After a few days, the family came back and I asked the parents if I could give it to the boys. The parents agreed and then it all happened. Their faces lit up with smiles and their eyes were so wide open. One of the boys stopped whatever he wanted to do and got down on his knees and starting playing with the toy right on the driveway. The family will never remember who I am. They may not remember what town but they may remember the feeling that they had while they were with me for a short time.
When we spend time with the children, they may not remember us but they may remember the feeling. Kids may remember that firemen make them happy. They may remember the care that a police officer had for them. The lollipop that he would always get from the doctor for a great check up.
People will remember the time that you spent with them. You may have listened to someone who was having a really bad day. You may have helped the little old lady down the street, bring in her trash cans. The veteran who may be in the veterans’ home may not remember your name but they know that they like you.
I remember my mentors in life and how I was appreciative for their time and their constant words of encouragement and caring they had for me. I remember how some teachers were caring and became friends of my family. I remember my friend in Georgia who always made time for me and my daughter. I cannot remember everything that we did but I can remember how they made me feel.
People may not always be with us but the impression that they leave on our life will always be there, be it positive or negative.
There is a saying that I heard, I forget where it comes from, we are blessed to see everyone. Some people bless us when they come into the room and others bless us when they leave the room. What kind of impression are you leaving?
Are we the type of people that leave footprints on someone’s heart and they always want to have those footprints?
When I teach new chaplains, a question that is always asked of them is “how do you know that you have made a difference with the person that you were with?” The answer is that we never know what type of impression we have on anyone’s life.
The conversation and time that we spend with people are the seeds that we are planting. We may never see the harvest of those seeds but we are not supposed to.
Casseroles
I was listening to a speaker a while back and they were discussing that certain diseases or health conditions earn certain food. If you think about it, you will notice the truth behind it. People with certain diseases, visitors come over and bring casseroles. If other people spend time in the hospital, an edible arrangement, of fruit, is sent to the house.
Recently, I went over to a friend’s house, who has a physical challenge and there was a team of supporters, then was fourteen people in the room. It was good to see that there were so many people that was there to show support and love.
This morning it made me think, what is it like for someone with a mental health issue or substance abuse challenge? Where is the team that comes together for them? I know people who deal with depression or PTSD or substance addiction. You want to guess how many people show support? What food do you bring over?
I have talked with many people who have substance addictions. Many of them told me that they had a crisis or trauma in life. They never sought help for one reason or another. I have even heard of people being told that they are to never cry or talk about what happened. Talk about a reason why some of these people have challenges. Do we take the time to really talk to people?
For many of us, when someone is in the hospital for a surgery or treatment, we may go over to visit. How do we handle someone with a mental health issue? Do we just avoid the person? How would you feel if you were that person?
Many people put a stigma with people who have mental health issues. Did you know that 20% of Americans have mental health issues? That means that 1 in 5 of us has challenges. Think about people in your family. Who do you know that may be depressed? Do you realize that depression untreated may lead to someone taking their own life?
One thing that sticks me strange is that so many times people say that they never expected the person to take their own life. My question is simple, did you bother to engage the person when they were going through depression or did you just walk away?
Have you taken a Mental Health First Aid Course, or a Suicide Awareness Course or a Psychological First Aid Course? There are many places that we can learn to help someone but are you willing to take the first step? Did you check out the SAMHSA website? Or any other mental health website?
Be brave enough to help others. By helping others on this issue, you may even find out that you may need some assistance or you may finally take care of the issue that you have been denying for years.
The first part of healing is to admit that you have a challenge and work to get the assistance that you need. The best thing that you can do, to be a good friend, relative, church member or what have you, is to care about all people. The Good Book that I read tells me that we are to love our neighbor. That’s it PERIOD. There are no qualifications as to who that person is or what condition that they have.
Remove the Stigma, Show the love.
The temptation to look into the mirror
So many times, we are moving forward when we drive down the road and we occasionally look in the rear-view mirror or in the side mirror, to see what is coming up from behind. We want to make sure that we watch out for the tractor trailer or the flashing lights in the mirror. But we should not constantly look in the mirror. We should just check only a few seconds occasionally. If we constantly look in the mirror as we are driving, we do not see what is ahead of us.
We may miss that the road makes a turn, while we are too missing looking at something that caught our interest and we are hung up on it. We may keep looking at the exit that we were supposed to take, but we blew it. We were going too fast and distracted that we are now a mile past where need needed to change direction.
New Beginnings
Just because we may have to get a calendar for a new year does not necessarily mean that we should hold off changing until January 1. I know that many times we may set New Year’s resolutions but how many of them do we see through until completion?
There have been so many changes that we have made in our lives that did not wait for January 1. When did you sign an application to join emergency services or another organization? How about starting a new job, if the fire services in not your paying job?
Did you have a discussion with your wife to make sure that the baby was born on January 1? She would laugh.
So, you start to get the point. We have our clients who have to start new lives because of a house fire or maybe a diagnosis from the doctor or a love one died. We have people effected by tornados, wildland fires, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. These are traumatic events that we have no choice over but they are a new beginning. I know that the phrase that I was not wild about was that it was the “new normal”. When someone has something like these events in their life, that comment will be the last thing that they want to hear.
Think about the one person that you just had to rescue from their house and the only thing that they have is that bar of soap that they are cling onto, or the slippers on their feet. They definitely have a new beginning but it was thrust upon them.
We do have new beginnings that we can control. You control when you want to stop smoking, start exercising, stop drinking, stop using that substance, or behaving a certain way and get assistance. We do have control of so much in our lives, there are so many things that we do not realize that we have control in our lives and then things that we have no control over.
There are many new beginnings each and every day. Some we are joyful for others are full of sadness and despair. The one thing that I want to let you know is that you are not alone in this thing called life. There are people around you to assist you. They may not know what to do but they just may be there to talk with you. But you are not alone.
I have seen so many people who have gone through hell and back, who some people would see as crushed, but they made it through. They had someone, some people that they can rely on. No matter how challenging your new beginning is remember that you always have God. He has never left you. He is here to listen to your praises and your gripes.
If you ever feel like griping to God, just read from the book of Psalms. Many of the writings are written like the author is coming to God with all their problems and then they get that moment of clarity, the V-8 moment. God is there, is the strength that can be drawn upon.
I wish that you all have the success in your new beginnings. Please don’t forget that the new beginning can be a minute from now. Remember the resources that you have, that you know about and that you may discover resources that you never knew were right around you. Look for the inspiration. Listen to the whispers in the wind. Encouragement can come from anywhere at any time.
I know that this article is being read by the one person who needs encouragement at this particular time. Most people may not believe it but this is an appointment from God. He wants to give you the strength in your deepest time. He wants to encourage you for your next step.
Simple Things
There are so many people who have challenges, so many ways. So many times people do not know how to interact with them. People see them as oddities and it upsets me. Where is the love or the compassion for those who we do not understand what their life is all about. They may have physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual challenges. Maybe they have a lot on their plate and don't know how to cope.
Yes a person with Cerebral palsy cannot do everything that the "norm" of society would expect. Talk to them, understand that they delight in the simple pleasures they we take for granted. When was the last time that you looked at the wonder of a storm? How do you react when you get your favorite meal after not having it for so long?
My daughter is a special needs woman, who was born with multiple challenges. She used to hold onto her dolls or stuffed animals that gave her comfort. What do you have that gives you comfort? Is it that one jacket that you always wear? Your hat? Something that you have in your pocket?
So you have your rituals that you have to do? Do you feel off if you do not have your phone, or certain jewelry?
My daughter reinforced in me the need to slow down and just enjoy the simple things, like walking and looking at what God has created.
I now get the pleasure of visiting people who may not fit into our idea of "normal" but how blessed am I. I am a student of what they see, how they think and what they feel. Just because they may make you comfortable at first, is no reason to discard them. Take the time, talk with them, there minds are still going and you can learn from them.
We are to love all our brothers and they are to love us. Appreciate one another and appreciate the small things in life, even that cup of coffee you may be drinking now.
.
.
"The Ripple Effect"
I have heard so much about the ripple effect, how what we do has impacts that we could never imagine. Well, how about what we do impacts so many people, and people that we will never meet, or know about?
A friend of mine passed away and we thought about what he did and who we had to coordinate with for his memorial. He served in the Navy, retired after serving in a fire department for 25 years, retired from being an instructor at the local fire academy for 25-30 years, he was a life member of a firefighter’s motorcycle club, a founding member of an ambulance corp., he served on a CISM team, he worked with AA and also with his local church. When you think of it, just belonging to one organization impacts many people.
My friend had to have taught thousands of firefighters and developed friendships with so many of them. Those firefighters may have taught other firefighters, taught fire prevention to people including children, saved lives through EMS or pulled people out of buildings. Through a fire instructor, just teaching one class can have an immense impact that they will never know.
How many people are alive because someone responded as an EMT? If that person died in a car crash, from a gunshot, or of a medical issue, how many people would not have been born because the family’s blood line could have ended there?
We do not really realize the impact of our words or actions. In the Bible, because of the life that Abraham lived, he was told that he would have more children than the stars in the sky. Or how about Joseph? He was sold as a slave by his brothers, BUT later he ended up saving Egypt from a great famine.
Jesus only did ministry for three years on Earth, but how many people today are following his teachings from 2,017 years ago?
How many people are you going to impact? Who can you inspire, just by speaking words of encouragement to them? What lessons can people learn from you? My friend taught that you need at least four hugs a day to continue a happy and healthy life. He also taught that it is alright to cry. “It is through our tears that we are able to go on. You cannot have a rainbow without the rain and you need the tears to help you heal.”
Just one of us can help and effect so many. We throw one stone into the pond of life and the ripple of our existence will propel lives, like a wave effecting a boat. The words that we speak can put wind into someone’s sails and keep them moving on. The love that we share, in our service to our neighbor and fellow man, can impact a family, community, country.
Al,
Thank you for being in our lives. You have helped so many people and touched so many people's lives. You were there for me as I was laying on my deathbed. You loved your family and friends. You served as an instructor and took care of so many. Now you have been called home by our Heavenly Chief. You have reported for your new assignment, working in the heavenly station as our guardian. You have been told “Well done good and faithful servant”. We will see you again someday.
May the LORD bless you and keep you; May the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; May the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace and until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.
Stay safe, Brother
What Does Sacrifice Look Like?
There are many ways of sacrifice and for different reasons.
When we join the fire service, we do not know all the sacrifice that we will be making. We sacrifice our time going to classes, time away from our loved ones, when we are on duty or get called in for extra duty of filling in for someone that banged out sick. We sacrifice money to help those in need, our talents helping rebuild communities that have been affected by fire or disasters that we have responded to.
A brother from Buffalo reminded me of all the sacrifices that a single parent makes. A single mother that raises her children on her own and also working a full time job. How many of us make the sacrifices for our children? How about our families sacrificing us, so that we can serve others? Or sacrificing what we want for our children? I know that many times in families, some of the parents may go without some meals, so that there children can eat three meals a day. I have seen senior citizens eating cat food, so that they had money to pay for their medication.
We know that also part of the job may be put in the time for the citizens or a brother but why do we do it? What is the underlying reason that we are ready to sacrifice?
We may not say it or even know consciously but I believe that it is that we care for our fellow man and that starts with our family and members of our company. When one of our own members need help, especially for a mayday, we are willing to make great sacrifices. We carry out what we are taught, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." or another sign of sacrifice is: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters."
We make sacrifices by rolling out for calls, when the thermometer does not even come close to see 0 degrees, when it is just so hot that we are sweating even before putting on our gear. We make sacrifices by giving up our sleep to respond to calls. We sacrifice our bodies when we refuse to take care of ourselves and still handle calls when sick or injured. We always are willing to go, no matter what.
Let us remember all the sacrifices that were made by our brothers. Those who have gone into a burning building, when a brother is trapped or those whose may stay in a building past the time that is safe. We look at the gain versus the risk, but many times we risk our lives, to save another's life.
Those who have served in the military are willing to make sacrifices for freedom, and for that we should always say 'Thank You!" This month is the time that we also remember other sacrifices, especially the sacrifice that was made for us 2015 years ago, when Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose again. So many of us forget that sacrifice. He risk His life so that the gain for all would be great, all we have to do is to be willing to accept the gift that He gave to us through His sacrifice. Would we be willing to be tortured and nailed to a cross, when we know that we are innocent?
Happy Ressurection Sunday
Accountability Tags
Back in the 1990’s, my fire department started using accountability tags. Each person was assigned a number that was engraved on two tags. We were to wear these tags on our gear. We were to put one tag on the apparatus and the other at the assignment of your work. The idea was that when things got bad, and everyone got evacuated from the building, they could tell which person was missing, if any.
When the evacuation signal would be sounded or transmitted, you are to evacuate and P.A.R. is to be taken, to see who if anyone is missing. This system was devised because the incident commander is held accountable for every individual on the scene.
What happened to us when we are not on the scene? Where do we tag in? Who are we accountable to and who is accountable for us? What are you accountable for? We are held accountable for our actions, words and deeds, even though we did not tag in to an apparatus. We as individuals are held accountable for ourselves in society. We are accountable. The first reported accountability that I have seen was that Adam and Eve were held accountable, to God, for eating the forbidden fruit. Also Cain was held accountable, to God, for murdering his brother. (Cain had even asked God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”)
We may not like to think of it but we are responsible for our deeds, actions and words. You may think that you do not need to be accountable because you have not physically murdered anyone. There are times when just saying, “my bad” does not cover things. When were you not truthful? When did your words or actions hurt someone, if they put their trust in you or not? It states that each of us is to give an account of himself to God.
Do you know that the disciples were sent out in two’s? Talk about the first two in two out before the fire service. Well, it was done for a few reasons. First, when there are two people one can encourage the other. Second, if anything happens to one, the second and take care of the first. Third, accountability. If the two were given an assignment, they were accountable to make sure that the task was performed as it should have been. This made sure that nobody was freelancing. We know how important it is not to freelance.
If we are married or in a relationship, we hold each other accountable, especially with the most intimate details. If we hold our children accountable for what they say or do, should we also set the example since we ourselves are accountable. Search your own hearts and see what actions that you did that may seem questionable. Accountability is so strongly tied in with ethics and caring for people. You may get away with certain actions in the “now” but you will be held accountable for it, in the “future”.
Reflections
This time of year we are so busy running around. We are decorating the station and the fire apparatus for the holidays and getting ready to take Santa around for the children. Then there is the gather of your fire company members and a party at the station also.
Oh, we forgot to mention the family. We need to pick up the presents for the children and rest of the family members and the relatives that we may see once a year. Then comes the thought of the actual day. Do you dress up? Whose house will you celebrate at? Is it your parents’ house or your spouse’s relatives? Or do you go to Aunt Jenny’s house or a friend’s house?
Have you thought about the less fortunate? Have you bought them anything? What about the homeless? Do you really know who they are? How many veterans are homeless? Have you decided to work and feed some people? Or bring joy to those who have nobody? Just look at your members or retired members or those in the firemen’s home or local nursing home.
Have you taken time to be still and just be with God? Maybe it is time to thank God for all the blessings in your life. We forget God said that He will take care of our needs, not wants but needs. Have you thanked Him? Yes, I understand that we go through hard times, but did we learn something from that or become stronger or more compassionate?
Have you reflected and truly looked in the face of people that need help? Do you really know if it is God in disguise?
Let us remember what the holidays are really about. Miracles. For Christians it is about the miracle of our Savior being born, as a man. For the Jews it is the miracle of the Hanukkah, was a miraculous military victory, but a tiny cruse of oil proved more miraculous and enduring in the memory of the Jewish people.
Let us reflect on the miracles that we have seen in the past year. Who lived after a bad car accident or survived a fire, or a fall, that by all means should have been dead? We do not always notice the hand of God at work around us. I challenge you to do as Psalm 46:10 states and “be still and know that I am God”. He is always here for you, not just when things seem to fall apart.
Kiss your loved ones. Let them know how much they mean to you and keep coming home to them after your calls. Express now to people how much they mean to you, you will also light up their day.
Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Stay safe.
The Times They Are A Changing
Back when I joined the fire service, we had the high boots, canvas coats, leather New Yorker helmets, fireball rubber gloves, and that was it. Now, a firefighter has a pair of boots inside bunker pants, bunker coat, hood, helmet with a suspension system, leather gloves and everyone on the fire ground has their own portable radio. Now I look at the fire trade magazines and catalogs, and I just saw firefighter bulletproof vests. Wow!
So many times we have seen war and riots overseas. Over the years, there has become something that is becoming a "new norm." Since Columbine, there has become a new environment of mass shootings. They happen in theaters, night clubs, schools, malls, churches, military bases, etc. Where is the safety?
Did each event have mental health issues going on? This is definitely the “see something say something” era, and I hope that people actually do that. I do not care if someone wants to say that you may be profiling. If you say something, maybe someone who needs treatment or correct medication can actually receive it. Think seriously about taking a psychological first aid of mental health first aid course. I know that it may sound a little Utopian, but maybe we can help someone before they take someone’s life. If we say something early, maybe the police can help defuse the situation.
We are supposed to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. I think that it is a shame that more people do not live that way, and you don’t have to go to my church to think that way. We use different terms these days to be politically correct and soften the blow to what is going on. When I was working EMS, I used to go to things that people classified as riots but today it is known as “civil unrest." A fight used to be a fight, not an “altercation." When someone needs help, they need help. When someone is behaving erratically, help them to get the help that they may need. Caring about people is also caring enough to speak out.
It's bad when fire and EMS have targets on their backs, causing the need for bulletproof vests. My heart also goes out to the police who have to wear the vests all the time. They also have to end someone’s life when that person is ending so many lives. There has also become a new term used, "suicide by police officer."
In the emergency services, we take care of people of any race, color, creed, or orientation, and same thing goes for our fellow responders. Who cares what you are, just as long as you can do the job.
I think that we, as emergency services, can teach the public how to act. So many emergency services are also involved in the community. All those who are coaches or scout leaders, or civic leaders or people who mentor the youth, or assist other people, raise your hands. Thank you for doing it. You have the power to change lives. By your acts, you may unknowingly change someone’s destructive behavior or thoughts.
I strongly believe that each person is a walking encyclopedia. They have learned so much, experienced so much and have a wealth of stories. And when a person dies, usually, that entire library is lost. My mind goes to the youth of Sandy Hook, and how many of those lives did not get a chance to live to the plans that were set before them. Each life that is taken affects so many people.
Please keep in your mind and prayers all those who are no longer with us, no matter their background, political view, or anything else that may be different than yours. A life is a precious thing. Lives matter.
A Valuable Commodity
They say that trust is a valuable commodity, and it is. Many times trust has to be earned and not blindly given, except for some rare groups of people. One group of people that trust is given to is emergency services. Emergency services are trusted because when people call 911, they trust us with their lives, the lives of loved ones, and their property. They trust that we know what we are doing and that we can help the situation.
We not only get people’s trust, but people also put their hope in us. When emergency services roll, we get situations that are beyond the client's skill set or resources. A mother hands over a child who is not breathing and they are hoping that we can bring breath to the child’s lungs. A family that has just found a relative on the floor, who has no heartbeat, is hoping that a defibulator and crew can perform CPR to give that person a heartbeat once again.
Emergency services does not get the easy calls. We get called when a car may be wrapped around a tree or telephone pole. The crew has to work within the Golden Hour to get the person to the hospital. There may be a person trapped in a burning house. There may be hostages in a bank or supermarket, that law enforcement needs to rescue.
In many situations, emergency services is given the trust and people put all their hope in us. Sometimes we may actually think about all the responsibility that is thrust upon us and it can be overwhelming. We know that when we have little innocent lives, it effects the crews even more. We know that the family put all their hope in us. Sometimes it is like they think that we can always bring people back from the dead.
We also put our trust and hope in our officers and crew. We trust that our tools and our training will not fail us. We trust that our officers will utilize the resources that are available to them.
There are even times when emergency services may feel helpless. Emergency Responders may have all the training in their brain, the skill set at their fingertips, but they may not have the proper tools to do the work needed. One of the guys that I used to work with felt that way. He was extensively trained in heavy rescue and on a great team that performed vehicle extrications often. Well, he was following a relative who got into a really bad car accident. He felt helpless because the tools that he used were not there. His truck was not there. His crew was not there. He saw his relative in pain and knew how important the Golden Hour was, but he could not do anything to get the relative out. He had to put his hope that the town he was in would send the crew in time and that the crew would have the tools and knowledge to do what was necessary.
There are times where we know what to do and can do it, but the officers will not allow it to be done. We may feel helpless but we may not have the same situational awareness that the officer may have. They may have the big picture in view and see that the floors are going to give out, or that the roof may collapse. BUT that does not take away the fact that some of the emergency service workers feel helpless. It may even be extremely difficult for us to handle after the incident, especially if there is a loss of life.
I recently asked a group of emergency responders if they would have joined emergency services if they knew the horrors that they would be seeing. Like I figured, they said that they would do the job no matter what. To me, that is the answer of a true emergency responder; sacrifice ourselves for our fellow man.
I, personally, hope that emergency services knows that the work that is done is noble work and that they should not feel helpless if they are doing all that they can and are trained to do. Anytime that emergency services has doubts they can always put the hope in God. If you do feel that you may have doubts or may feel helpless and need to talk with someone, you can reach out to a chaplain or someone from your local crisis team.
We can always have people put their hope into God. He is always here for you.
Thank you for all you do.
The Future of the Fire Service
Where do we get our firefighters from? There is no factory that just cranks them out. It takes many years to mold and educate a firefighter. We know that the job is not for everyone. Who in their right mind would willingly go into a burning building, when even the rats are running out? It takes unique people to do the job. But where do these people come from?
So many children see the firefighters as heroes, riding on the big bright shining red fire trucks rolling down the street with the sirens wailing. People are used to their pictures of firefighters fighting that big blaze or rescuing a cat from a tree. I don’t know about you, but I have only received one cat call in over thirty years and lately it is more smells and bells than the working house fires. Fire prevention is definitely working. Anyway, I remember that kids wanted to grow up and be a police officer or firefighter. This being said, I have a question for you. Would you want little children to grow up like firefighters that you know?
People watch you and listen to you, little people especially. You may think that certain behavior is alright because it is part of being a firefighter. You may use dark humor, colorful stories and language that helps you express yourself. Are you sure that you want to do that in public? Have you seen the children that are around fire scenes or around the corner or upstairs, when you are doing an investigation? Have you noticed how many people are taking videos on the phone and posting them on Facebook or YouTube? Well people are watching and listening.
We are to set the examples for the children. If they are looking up to you as their heroes, don’t make them have to hang their heads by what they overhear you say. We are supposed to train up the children. They are clay and the heroes that they have help mold them into what they think that they want to be. I know that firemen are a certain way but how would you feel if you are going at it and then you see that a child walks up behind you.
We have a responsibility to mentor and also be the heroes and teach our children how to be examples in the community. Should your department set a better example? How much interaction does your department and individual firefighters have with children? Are we forgetting the days when fire departments would go into school to teach public safety? Do our children become our jewels with best behavior and manners? Do your rookies show proper respect for rank or the job? Does your rookie argue with you because they do not want to do the task assigned to them? Who taught them that? Who was they mentor? Where did they learn their traits? Did they watch your department scream and shout and stomp your feet? Did they watch you act that way? Are your children at home doing the same thing?
Have your children seek wisdom now. Teach them respect when they are young so that they will not stray from it. Teach all to be presentable in private so that they will be presentable in public. It may not be big brother, it may be little child, but someone is always watching you. Set the example that you want to see in the public.
Death...
Death is something that is always around emergency services. Emergency services sees it so much, and may meet death if things go wrong on a scene.
When I teach class, I say "Thank you for joining emergency services, now is the time to say goodbye to the age of innocence. We see things that the public does not want to see, or even know what happens." After that statement is made, we start teaching them about critical incident stress management and other ways to handle stress, as well as resources that are out there.
Where is the Joy?
I spoke to someone who was telling me how to get better. He told me that all I had to do was concentrate and work and get myself healthy. The thing that he forgot was that no matter what we do in life, we need to make sure that we have something in life that brings us joy.
What is life if we do not have something that makes us happy? It's mundane, boring, frustrating, depressing.
What are things that can bring joy to us? How about spending time with our children or significant other? We get pleasure spending time with friends, or working on hobbies. I know people who have model trains, play baseball or basketball, coach children in sports. One thing that brings me joy is helping people.
I have seen people who have gone a negative way in life because they have lost all the ideas about joy. Since there was no joy, they turned to using substances to make them happy or to help them just cope with life. But they needed to be reminded what brought them joy when they were younger. Some people like to draw or paint when they were a child, so maybe they can express themselves through art now. Some people play musical instruments. I know some people in emergency services who perform professionally.
There is so much that can bring us joy. How many firefighters enjoy doing fire prevention with the children, or doing the Santa run? How many parents have joy just by watching their children sleeping quietly in bed? There is nothing like seeing a child at peace, no matter the age.
We also know a song that states "Joy to the world the Lord has come". Many firefighters do not actively go to church but we should remember that He has given us joy. We have a personal relationship with God. He loves us so much that He sent His son to die for our sins. God delights in our existence. We bring Him joy. And hopefully you thank Him for the joy that you have. If you do not have any joy in your life, ask Him to show you, to remind you the times in life where you did have joy, or ask Him to bring Joy into your life.
Here's Your Sign
I remember years ago watching Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy with their crew of comedians. One would also come up where people did some not-so-smart things and he would follow it up by saying, “here’s your sign.” We all do things that we hope never end up on YouTube or get our sign.
Well, it was April when I went some place and saw a sign on a homeless person’s back. It said “Kick me.” The first thing that came to my mind was that someone was being cruel, like when we were in grammar school. I was wrong.
They put it on their own back. They said that it was an April fool’s joke. They were not happy when someone took it off their back, so they made another sign and put it back on again.
Friends and I discussed this. The person was told that they should not do that, even as a joke. Other people would take them up on it and would kick them, just for starters. There are many times where people abuse the less fortunate. Would you do something like that in your area, and/or would you do anything about it?
We spoke with the person and told them that they had worth and should think better of themselves. Granted, some of us have been kicked around by people or our circumstances and feel that we just deserve it and will accept whatever.
If we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, we need to first love ourselves. I don’t mean to the point of being all puffed up and full of ourselves. But understand that each of us have our reason for existing.
Sometimes we need to remember some very basic truths:
1. God does not make any garbage. (Ok, I am still trying to figure out the platypus.)
2. God made you. (Yeah, the person reading this.)
3. You are not garbage. No matter what you go through, you still are not garbage.
4. God loves you. You may or may not believe in Him, but He believes in you. He created you and is always with you, even when you feel that He is not there.
Please, when you see someone who is hard on themselves, don’t help them put themselves down. Come beside them and speak words of worth and encouragement to them. Hebrews 10:24 states “let us also think about how to encourage each other to show love and to do good works.”
We are all worth being cared for and respected. We should encourage people and not kick them when they are down. Encourage each other. As we build up one another, we build a strong team and a strong society. Imagine if the sign read “Hug Me”.
I believe in you!
Stay safe,
Didymus McHugh
He said "God Bless You"
I saw a man starting to walk in the same direction that I was walking. I noticed that he was wearing a ball cap that read "Viet Nam Veteran". I told him "Thank you for serving. If you did not serve we would not have our freedoms." We parted but later we saw each other and he said to me "God bless you and your family."
There are so many people that would never think of thanking a veteran. They have no courtesy or respect for these individuals, who put it all on the line. Do these people understand that most of the military seem to be young people? Talk about dedication.
All too often we forget what goes into a great country, like the values that this country was founded on. But it makes my heart feel heavy at what has happened. When the national anthem is played, there are people who remain seated, don't take off their hat, put their right hand over their heart, or just show respect by stop talking. By the way, the last words to the national anthem is not "Play Ball". What has happened to the honor and respect? Is it that parents don't show respect? Do they know how to teach it? Are schools afraid to teach it? I remember in grammar school, we would say the pledge of allegiance every morning. Is there even an American flag in the classroom? Or is that not politically correct? Do yourself a favor, YouTube the pledge of allegiance and watch the commentary by John Wayne.
Years ago, I traveled a lot and I witnessed a protest on governmental property. I spoke to the security guard and asked him if it bothered him, that the people were protesting the military. The gentleman told me that he served in the military in rough areas and rough times, to protect the freedom of those people who were protesting about what he did. Did you hear that? He was willing to lay down his life for others to protest against our freedom fighters.
To the military: Thank you for your service and being willing to die for your freedoms and ours.
To the families of the military: Thank you for supporting this country by supporting your service person. And if they did not come home, our country should definitely say "Thank you and our hearts go out to your family."
Happy 4th of July
Thank you for the sacrifices, so we can spend another year in freedom.
God bless you and your family. God bless America
When do we stop helping people?
When we joined the fire service, we wanted to make a difference and help people. We have seen that John 15:13 become so real “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” How many times are we willing to risk our lives for a civilian, child and even more so for a brother?
But this is only the beginning or supreme end. We are to have compassion for people as we always do. When are we supposed to stop showing compassion for others?
There is a way that we can save or enhance to about 50 lives, once we die. We can become organ and tissue donors now. One organ donor can save up to 8 lives. They state that the organs that can be transplanted are the heart, kidney, livers, lungs, pancreas and intestine. Since there are more than 122,000 people waiting for transplants in the U.S. That’s a big number but if you look that 22 people die every day as they wait for an organ transplant, how or who can you help?
Think about the guys in your station, department or their families. Does someone you know have health challenges? Where do you think skin comes from for the graft for burn victims? Yes, they can take the donor skin off of other parts of the patients’ body but sometimes things will not or cannot work that way. Do you know a brother who may need a valve job? No, not car but heart. You can help one of them out. Your corneas can help restore sight to someone. What about bone grafts, ligaments or tendons to help fix diseased bones and joints?
The people who are on the organ donor lists as recipients are praying and hoping for a new organ. I know that for me, it would be nice if God used me to answer someone’s pray and let them continue to live. Right now, you answer people’s prayers and give them hope, when you assist them by answering calls, continue that spirit when you die. By our concern for our fellow man, we are called into this profession and we give of ourselves with our time, money, talents, etc.
I, myself, am an organ and tissue donor. I let my family know. I let a lot of people know. I have come to appreciate that if I can help someone I will. If people can physically benefit from me dying, I do not want to cremate a body part that someone might not be able to live without.
I know that it may be a concern to people but I feel that this conversation needs to be put out there. You may want to talk with your family, friends, doctor, or religious leader. I am just making you aware of a situation, no an opportunity to volunteer. You may even know someone who benefited from an organ or tissue donation, or maybe someone that did make a donation.
Romans 12:1 reminds us that we are to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. If we care for people, why not have a part of us live on and help others. Would your family be comforted that even though you would be with them anymore, that you selflessly gave for others?
If you have any questions, please reach out to your local organ and tissue donation organization. If you are concerned about religious implications of organ donation, I have been advised by the NJ Sharing Network, that most of the religions approve of it. But you can still discuss with your religious leader.
I mentioned about being a donor and wondering what would happen for my wake and I was advised that it would look like me, if I wanted a viewing.
When people were trying to trap Jesus about the greatest commandment, He stated that the greatest commandment was to love your God with your heart, mind and soul and that the second greatest commandment was that we are to our neighbors as ourselves. Do you love people enough to help them when you are no longer living?
I used to belong to a fire department that did not have fire companies, instead we had defender companies. The sign at the firemen’s memorial said “Defenders of life and property”. I’m all in, take what you need to protect someone’s life. What about you?
Heritage
What did we pass on?
We have a heritage and tradition that the fire service, our region, department or company has gets handed down. In the fire service, we have the heritage of values, family, pride, honor, integrity. In certain areas, it may be a wet-down or housing a new apparatus.
We may have heard of the major fires from years ago, where do we get all our training? How did certain ways of doing things come from? We have our crews that came before us to thank. They have lived the historic fires. They have developed certain firefighting strategies. Granted we may no longer have to worry about taking the horses for the walk, towards the end of shift, but it is always good to hear the stories.
I encourage you to listen to them. I have heard it said that once you are a firefighter, you are always a firefighter. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to be a dedicated firefighter and then have to retire. How many walking encyclopedias are in the nursing home or no longer around the station anymore?
Everyone has value. The American Sign Language symbol for wisdom is to stroke your sideburns, where the grey is traditionally. Just because the older, more experienced are no longer allowed to respond, does not mean that we should lose all that valuable information. Maybe we should save, in video or audio format, what our brothers have experienced.
In many cultures the elders are treasured for their wisdom. Let us always make the time to listen to our elders. We will be pleasantly surprised of the wisdom and history that will be unveiled to us.
If you have knowledge that you think that you can teach the rookies, how much can you learn from the elders?
Plans for the New Year
I would first of all wish to congratulate the new officers, that start this year.
Have you ever done a search in a location that you are familiar with? The building is be filled with smoke and you are forced to go down on all fours. You try using your handlight but that does not work. The smoke is too thick and you have no TIC. You go to your training. You never loose contact with the wall. You have no idea where you are going but you trust the wall and your training. Since this is not a place that you are familiar with, you press on and hope that it will be alright.
Isn't that what life is like? It is the beginning of a new year and we have all our plans as to what we want to accomplish and we make resolutions. We have many good intentions for the new year or when we take office, or just have plans for our lives in general. Then reality hits and we need to roll with it.
We may have our plans for this year but things may change. God may have other things in mind for you. It states that God knows the plans that He has for you. So don't worry if it does not go your way. Ride it out. There may be something bigger and better that is going to happen in your life.
Maybe you did not become an officer this year and you were counting on it. Hold on. Wait and see. There is a plan. The Supreme Chief has the plan for each of His members.
In the meantime, keep in contact with the wall as you do your search and trust in what you know.
Chaplain's Corner (Dec 2014)
The holidays are coming and so is the change of the new year and this gets me thinking. We can give thanks for the officers that we have had and look forward to the officers that are going to be sworn in.
We can look back at the past and think of our brothers who are no longer with us.
At this time of year, people may not be able to completely us even more. We may be having a holiday meal or have guests over at our house or about to do something, like opening presents. Then an alarm comes in and everything changes.
Most people may want us to sit and finish our meal or watch the children open the presents, but we get up and leave. We have some people who ask us why we have to leave in the middle of our celebration. Our answer to us is simple, "if you had a house fire, would you want the fire department to show up?"
We may be paid or volunteer but our services are needed all the time. When emergency services joined, everyone answered the calling to help our fellow man. Since we cannot plan emergencies, we have to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.
I remember two holiday celebrations that were interrupted. The first was when I first joined and my father and I ran out of the house as the family was just getting up and the second was a call that came in a my daughter was just opening her presents. My daughter may have cried for leaving in the middle of the event, but she understood that it was part of helping other people. Emergency services help people when the person is having a bad day. We do not fit it into our schedule. We inconvenience ourselves so that we can be good servants.
At this time of year, especially at this time of year, I would like to say something for all the public; "Thank you for your time, dedication and training. Thank you to your family for giving of their time that they do without you. You provide a service to each person without consideration of who they are. How many people and organizations can learn by observing you?"
I would also ask that you also set aside sometime for yourself. In emergency services as well as many occupations, that provide care, we may take ourselves for granted. We need some down time to recharge our batteries and bring ourselves down to our level of normal baseline, whatever it may look like for you.
Have an enjoyable holiday season and talk with you next year.