Deal With The Stress Or It Will Deal With You
Deal With The Stress Or It Will Deal With You
As I go through my day, I think about how frustrated people get and that some people may not have the right way to express themselves. I have seen where some people may be destructive and others may be able to find the correct constructive outlets. We all need to find the way that is our proper stress management.
Some people may enjoy yoga or certain mindfulness activities. Some of us may be a little more physical, like running, weight lifting, or working on construction jobs until we are exhausted. We need to explore for ourselves what avenue is best for us.
If we do not get a chance to work out out stress, it can take us out. Stress may show up in ways that we do not want. Stress untreated is like when you take a bottle of a carbonated drink, after you just shook it for a half an hour. You try to open it slowly and not get sprayed but you need to be very diligent. Stress may rear its ugly head in the form of a heart attack or other physical ailments or may play a number on your mind. You may not be able to concentrate or the slightest thing can get you angry. There are many ways that stress will come out.
Right now people are experiencing a lot of stress and we need to limit the stress. Please make sure that you have your personal space and personal things to release stress. Many people may want to try stress relief like others but we also need to remember that stress is individualized. One incident may cause stress for one person but not the next, so it is only logical that one way of relieving stress may not work for the next person.
Think about constructive ways about releasing stress. If you need help, there are people around who are willing to guide you or listen. Sometimes we can learn how to handle the stress by talking to others
Stay Safe
Stay Safe
Stay safe is a phrase that we have known from years ago. It would be our way of telling other responders to be careful. It was a constant reminder. Now we hear many people saying that to each other.
During this present challenging time we need to stay safe. Domestic violence, suicide and depression is on the increase. People are getting cabin fever. People are trying to stay in contact using the different meeting platforms. I have even ventured to utilize Facetime and Zoom meeting and trying to figure our Teams. These platforms give a face to the voice but there is nothing like being in the presence of the other individual.
People are now doing some funerals with Zoom or having wakes that way. Right now, social distancing is becoming the norm. Many of the houses of worship are having services or devotionals on a social platform. People are trying whatever they can to do provide some "normalcy".
We need to be working diligently on self-care or resiliency. We need to know the thing that will being us joy and practice it on a regular basis. Yes, it is great to spend more times with the family but I think that we all know that after a while we all need our own space. Everyone needs there own person corner, where they can go to get away from everything.
No matter what is going on is society, even this pandemic, we see people that never stop and most people cannot figure out the mindset. Fire, police and EMS never skip a beat. Even when all this is going on and society is trying to figure out how their future is going to change, fire calls are still being answered, ambulances are still rolling to give aid and law enforcement is still going out. The procedures may be modified but Emergency Services still respond. We need to say "Thank you" to each other.
In this time I also want to thank the medical personnel that working long and hard hours. I am also impressed to see how many businesses are still operating. There are too many to name and my appreciation goes out to all that are still going.
Let me end by saying thank you, stay safe and look out for one another. We will see each other on the other side of this challenge.
Self-Care / Resiliency
Insanity Defined
There are different definitions of insanity. Webster’s describes it as “a severely disordered state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder”, or for legal “unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or that releases one from criminal or civil responsibility”. There are people who define insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That quote has been credited to so many different people I will not even try to give the credit.
The version that I think we have heard when we joined the fire service is that insanity is being a firefighter. When there is a burning building and all the rats and roaches are running out, we are the ones running in. And we do that willingly.
We have many self-destructive tendencies, according to the public. We willingly put ourselves into situations that people do not want to see, or acknowledge that they even exist. We have seen people who did not survive fires, all ages. We have seen people mangled up in car wrecks. We have responded to calls with our Brothers and Sisters as the victims. We have responded to calls at our loved one’s houses. And we do this because we have the skill set that is required.
We have said “hello” to emergency services and “Goodbye” to the age of innocence. We at times take on so much that it affects us. Maybe not at the scene, or the next one, or the next, but we forget that stress affects us cumulatively. How many of us may have the whiff of a smell that brings us to a bad call? You know the smell that brings you back.
Do you avoid certain parts of town or certain holiday celebrations? I recall on Christmas morning, when I first joined, we had a house fire at about 0800 hours and the house was fully engulfed. We found out after the fire that the homeowner perished within three-feet of the door.
We need to find ways to correctly process these thoughts and memories. I have recently spoken with someone who found a member of his station dead in their station, apparently by his own hands. The person who told me this still told it with tears in his eyes, but he was able to deal with it.
When a life is taken, so much is lost, so much knowledge, humor, love. If we look at it from one side, the person has spent so much time in training and has so much experience that it would be a shame to lose all of that. But the human side of me says, that was someone with a family, mom, dad, brother, uncle, aunt, sister, son, daughter, instructor, mentor, friend, Brother, Sister, someone that we may have answered many calls with. What is that person worth to you? Would you be willing to open up your mouth to help them? Are you willing to ask them what is wrong, when they do not look or act right?
I had a friend who died a while back. He always taught that the human needs a certain amount of hugs a day to thrive. I forgot what the number was. Does it really matter? We all need human contact, a sign of affection. Are you willing to let someone cry on your shoulders? Do you have someone that is close enough that if you need to cry, that you can cry on their shoulders? Don’t worry, you do not have to do it in front of a crowd, if you are not comfortable.
I had someone tell me that their father said that real men don’t cry and that he was never allowed to talk about the problem. Wow, the father basically cursed the son for thirty years. I gave him the safe zone to talk about it. He cried on my shoulders, first time in thirty years. Do you how much that helped and started him in his healing process.
It is okay to hang up your Superman cape, once in a while, so that you take care of yourself. Maybe you need to talk with a peer, a chaplain, a crisis team member, a crisis line, or a psychologist or social worker. It’s okay. Your family will thank you. You will thank you. Please take care of it instead of picking up the bottle or something worse.
Self-Care
How's Your Rubber Band?
There is a demonstration of resiliency that shows our resiliency, our sense of bouncing back is like a rubber band. After we experience a traumatic event or something stressful, we need to look at if we come back to the same place where we started, like a rubber band that has been stretched. We stretch the rubber band and release it and watch it go back to where it started. The more intense the pressure and/or the longer the pressure, the less were are going to go back to when we began, just like the rubber band. The more and more that we are stretched without our coping skills and self-care skills, we can snap like that rubber band.
Our coping to stress starts long before we ever respond to any emergency call. It starts with the relationships that we develop, how well we are trained, what we do to relax and what we do to seek joy. It includes understanding what the signs of stress are. Some people show stress some different ways, but most are the same. Do you know who you can talk with? A friend, chaplain, crisis team....Who do you have?
What do we do when we are in the middle of the crisis? On a scene, we may not have time to remove ourselves from the scene. We can remove ourselves from the scene. We can try tactical breathing exercises, to bring our breathing under control and our pulse.
There was an incident that I was about to go in with a partner but I could see that his mind was someplace else. I asked him what was going on. He said that I was the only one that noticed. We had a quick discussion and went on with our assignment. Yes, I could have just gone in with him and not discuss it, but it came to me "Two in, two out" and I wanted to make sure it would be two out. A few minutes to address someone's stress can make a big difference on the overall scene.
What about after the scene? Do you exercise when you are stressed? Do you pray, do yoga, go for a bike ride? There are so many things that people do. Jesus after feeding 5,000 people, made the disciples get into a boat and go ahead of him and dismissed the crowds. "After dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone." Matthew 14:23 See, we may all need some time alone to do self-care. I do not think that anyone is immune. Even God rested on the seventh day.
If we do not treat our stress and take hold of it, we can have psychological issues, or physical issues, like a heart attack. We need to reduce as much stress that we can.
When I was on a Hazmat team, we had physicals annually to make sure that we were in shape. When we went to a scene, we had our vital signs checked before and after entering into the hot zone. When we came out, we had a certain amount of time for our vitals to come within ten percent of our baseline. If we did not stabilize, we got a ride to the hospital, no negotiations.
Resiliency may include running, eating healthy, playing with your kids, etc. We all need to take care of the stress and how it affects us. If we do not handle the stress, it will handle us. How do you feel about having a heart attack? Don't want one? Find a constructive way to deal with it.
If you do not know how to build resiliency, you can always talk to people trained in crisis intervention. They are trained with a bunch of ideas.